Tuesday, August 14, 2007

It's a Pity Party . . . and You're Invited!

Today my band informed me that they are "releasing me from my responsibilities to them." They feel that my situation is unpredictable and out of my control, thereby making me potentially unreliable. My heart and my spirit are broken. That's all I can say. OK. The pity party is over.

Jeff is doing well today but he is restless and frustrated by his uncooperative left side. He is increasingly uncomfortable and cannot easily change positions. He met with the physical therapist and walked a few steps with her help using a walker. I was so proud of him! He did such a good job! It was a joy to watch him moving. It sounds like they will continue to do more physical therapy and will craft a treatment plan based upon his functionality when we know more about how quickly he'll regain use of his left side. They said it is possible he will eventually be moved from the neurology floor to the inpatient rehabilitation floor for a while until he is strong enough to safely maneuver around home with minimal help. Jeff, of course, prefers to be released directly to home on his own power without any therapy at all, but he'll likely have to endure their help for a while.

Jeff had another MRI today and is going to have another more specialized MRI later tonight to monitor his brain "wiring." So, between the tests and physical therapy, Jeff has had a busy day. He's also had many visitors respond to Aubrey's invitation. It is wonderful to know so many people are following his progress.

I went back to work today. Don't be jealous. My co-workers have been wonderful and I can't thank Liz enough for tending to things in my absence and arranging all my appointments.

As for the tumor they removed on Saturday: we received the pathology report and it was confirmed to be melanoma. The doctors thought it could possibly be a second unrelated cancer because it did not "behave" like melanoma on the pre-operative scans--it was diffuse and leaky and didn't "light up" like "normal" melanoma. But, with the pathology report we now have confirmation that Jeff does NOT have two cancers! This is good news.

Also, the kids came to visit Jeff yesterday for the first time since his surgery. I know it was a little unsettling for them to see Jeff so debilitated when they are used to seeing him so strong and able. Regan was sympathetic and concerned. Jack, on the other hand, was fascinated by Jeff's useless left side. Jack proudly demonstrated Dad's floppy hand for visitors and announced "his arm and leg don't work--I'm not kidding." Jeff was very patient with them as they took turns feeling the dead weight of his limbs and in allowing them to try to lift and reposition them. He truly is a Super Dad! The kids continue to do well under the circumstances and are distracted by the upcoming school year. Thank you to all the friends who have kept them busy with play dates and other fun over the past couple of days.

I'll let you know how the MRI's turn out. Until then . . . I'm too sad to be funny.


TheRamFam said...


You can sing with my band anytime.


Stay strong. The Ramsdens are praying for you. You are amazing. Heal like a Champion today...


Aubrey said...

when u r in a new band & u r famous, the Rabid Aardvarks will be PRAYING to get your AUTOGRAPH!! lol! i love you mom!

mka said...

Maybe this was just a day for pity partys. I had one of my own today.We all go through it. I watched a good kids movie, "The Last Mimzy" yesterday at Sandys. I think you and the kids and Jeff would enjoy it. I had heard about it, and it was actually pretty good. So when you're feeling down, it's a movie that gives you hope. I thought it was cute. Love, Mom (Myrna)

mka said...

Hey Aubrey, we sent a blog at the exact moment. WOW. Someone already got your mom's autograph when she was ten years old. Some guy heard her sing with her dad's band and got her autograph and said she was going to be famous someday. I wonder if he still has it? Well, he'd better keep it if he knows what's good for him. And remember, Front Street can always use some good singers. I think you Aubrey should carry on the family tradition and sing in it too some summer. Mom, Myrna, Grandma (sometimes I just don't know how to sign this)

michelle wait said...

Kelly, Jeff, and fam,
Thanks for all of the updates. Jeff and I are thinking about you all lots and praying. Love you and hope to see you very soon. Kelly - No one can take the rock star out of you!!!

Terri said...

I'm glad to hear that Jeff is up and trying to walk around and get that left side to wake up and do what he tells it. He just needs to boss it around a little. Anyway, another cute movie that gives hope is St. Ralph. A part that might make you laugh is when he is trying all sorts of different ways to make his mom wake up out of a coma and one way he tries is he waves dog poop under her nose, it just made me crack up. Anyway, thanks for keepin us updated it means a lot to us who can't be there. Stay strong Kelly, We love all of you!!1
Love Terri (lil sis)

Kara Smith said...

Pity Party? I think maybe it is called being human! (smile) Kelly you have been so amazing through ALL of this, as has Jeff. Doggone it is hard to realize we are all human and disappointment hurts! It is OK to have a pity party. Just don't make it an all-nighter!

You are all in my prayers. Kelly, to get through your personal trials. Jeff, to keep being an amazing fighter with tons of patience. The kids to have understanding. All of your friends and family to continue to support you.

Be strong!
Kara Smith

Regan Dodd said...
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Regan Dodd said...
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Mary M Clay said...


I love the title of this blog ('It's a Pity Party') because it sounds like the middle child anthen! :P Just ask Jeff...he can testify to my pity parties. :)

That's disappointing to hear about the band, but maybe you can start your own band with Michelle, Aubrey, Tracy and I...D-SWV - Dodd Sisters with Voices. I can SO sing back up and play guitar!
Love you guys,

Scotty said...


Too bad we didn't live closer to each other, we could start up our own little band. I can play the drums, at least I used to be able to. Of course, we'd have to rely on you to come up with a rockin' band name.

Wishing Jeff a speedy recovery. You guys are in my prayers.


Cathy said...

Hi Kelly,

The band has lost a great asset in you. Like Aubrey said, they will be wishing they kept you when you are w/ a new band and Rockin' the World!

When God closes one door, he always opens another - or maybe a window...We just need to keep our eyes open and turn around to see the other door/window that opened. There is another band out there just waiting to discover you!

Jeff - You are truly an amazing person. All I can say about the physical therapy is this - DO IT! When I fell off my bike in 06 and broke my arm and hip, I just wanted to get out of the hospital, go home and I thought I could do my own physical therapy... Got to tell you, it was so much better to have someone who was there to help me through it, and my progress and recovery was so much faster than if I had tried to do it on my own.

Prayers for you and the family from the Houston area!


PS - and of course, I had another candle lit for you at the Grotto! :-)

Rhonda said...

You are awesome. For a lot of reasons. But mainly because you put Jeff first, above anything else. I just have to tell you honestly, I went through something similar to this with a band I was in, and I told them that I would not be able to make every gig for a while. They waited for me, and found subs to cover what I couldn't do. That is what PEOPLE do for other people. They don't take away something so precious for selfish reasons.

I have a band in Milwaukee called Midnight Groove, I sub with a lot of other bands, and I would be more than happy to pass on your information to those groups if they need a singer. You are an inspiration, with all that you have on your shoulders...and for that to happen, it's just ridiculous. I have gained MORE respect for you, and less for the people who "released" you. Maybe this was God's way of telling you "concentrate on your guy....your time is coming:)"

God bless you girl, call me anytime. (414)350-7909.

Rhonda Begos