Monday, June 1, 2009


I'm back. Sorry it's been a while since my last post. I've hit a rough patch and don't know what to say that won't offend you, alienate you, or bore you. In sum, I'm discouraged. I'm lonely. I'm tired. And, I'm achy. I could go on for days about all the gory details and although I'm sure it would be very exciting and entertaining for all of you--I've already told all of it to just about everyone who will listen and the worst of it is: not many people do. At least not without hijacking the conversation and telling me all about their own problems. Oh well. I know I am a terrible listener--the worst, as a matter of fact. So, I really can't complain. I should work harder to listen to others. I wonder how many times people reached out to me for help and I wasn't paying attention? I wonder how many times I blew someone off or gave them the impression I didn't care when they were trying to share something important? I wonder how often people just needed my attention? I hate to think of what I missed out on and all the opportunities I lost.

So, I'll spare you anymore of my whining and self-pity and give you the low-down on what the kids have been up to. Jack is playing baseball and is on a really great team with lots of parent involvement and a good coach, so he has been doing really well and is having lots of fun. Regan is also playing soccer and has enjoyed playing with her friends on the team. Jack has his end-of-the-year Boy Scout picnic tomorrow night and Aubrey has her year-end Chorus Concert--sounds like they have some tricks up their sleeves, so it should be a fun show! Finn told me he loved me tonight for the first time--by himself and without being prompted. That's a good note to end on, so I think I'll keep it short tonight.



mka said...

You're just tired and hungry.
Love, Mom

mka said...

Why don't you call me and we can talk. I don't care what time it is. You can whine and cry to me, and I'll put in my 2 cents worth. Really, I think you write your feelings to the blog more than you actually tell them to a real person, namely ME. I can help you. I've been in about every situation you can name, except I didn't have a nanny and I wasn't a lawyer...I guess we do have some differences, but call me. Than when you're done, I'll tell you what's happening here. Love, Mom

Terri said...

You know, in regards to having children, John once said that I was the oppsite of you and that I would probaly have either two boys and a girl or all boys and he was right three boys later, and I have since then seen some of our differences such as when you are down or what not, you do write more of your feelings in the blog which is good, that is theraputic in it's self, I on the other hand (I also find comfort in writing to relieve stress) talk about it to people (mainly mom) to death and that too is theraputic, if other people are not listening then you are talking to the wrong people and yes, there have been times when I have been on the receiving end of your crappy listening skills, so then I talk to mom or someone else and everyone and anyone that will listen. It's ok to crab to us,so don't think that you need to be strong and funny with us all the time, we know what you have been through and it's theraputic to let it out! So, to sum up I am a good listener, facebook quizzes told me so and facebook is the bible.
Call anytime.
P.S. this is YOUR blog you can complain all you want if it makes you feel better, so quit appoligizing, if people don't want to hear it then they don't have to read it, at this point you should just worry about making yourself happy and not others or the readers.

MJoski said...


I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and I "listen" to your blog posts daily! I agree with your mom and sister this is your blog and you can say (type) whatever you want! Give your mom or sister a call - it WILL make you feel better and they want to help!!


Jenni Halley said...

Hey you, hang in there. Ditto on my life, but I did want you to know that I am listening to what you said and I said a prayer for you tonight.

Peg Miller said...

Here's a thought...remember that we're only a phone call away. I wish I would have thought about this 24 hours it probably would have made your life easier had you NOT arrived at Aubrie's concert 30 minutes early! As it turned out, Finn WAS a perfect audience member, but before the concert I was picturing the blog we'd read today, where you'd say, "...and he was an absolute angel...until Aubrie took the stage..." (Fortunately their performance was energetic enough to keep everyone on their toes.)

Since Ann and Aubrie are often going to and from the same places, we'd be more than happy to give Aubrie rides!

Take care,


Peggy Wilkins said...

Grief is tough work - give yourself a break - take all the time you need.

Katie Clancy said...

OK. When can Ed, I, baby and dog come and see you? I am now within 4 hours driving distance instead of 22. I have a bunch of complaints also. Maybe we can go out in a field somewhere and scream? Or drink a few drinks? Or stuff ourselve with food? How can I help?

Jackie said...

I have to agree with these posts, especially your sister's. I write far more coherently than I speak, and I find it a better outlet.

...and it's true, Facebook maintains knowledge of biblical proportions.

Take care,
PS We still need to share a drink in an alien head! :)

Whitney said...


I listen to your blog everyday, I am guilty of highjacking many conversations when someone is trying use me as a shoulder to cry on. That is why your blog is so important, it makes us all sit back and listen. No one can interupt you, interject their own stories and lament (a word I learned from you)on their own problems, we read and we listen and we all keep coming back for more because we love listening to you. I hope it helps when I say I understand how your feeling.