Sunday, April 26, 2009

Updated Post . . .

(Editor's Note: After I originally posted this, people asked me if it is creepy for me to see my name on a headstone. My answer: Not at all. The kids have seen it, too and none of them seem to be bothered by it. Regan asked where all of them (the kids) will be buried and I told them that if any of them die before me, they can have my spot next to Daddy (True). I decided to be buried next to Jeff as a convenience to our kids and to future family genealogists so that we can be easily found and visited. However, the kids also know that if I would have the good fortune to get remarried, that they are welcome to cremate me and bury half of me with Jeff and half with my new husband. After all, I think it would be kind of funny/ironic if after working as a divorce lawyer, I ended up being divided in two. )

Original Post:

As promised, here are pictures of Jeff's headstone. The pictures really don't to it justice. It is made of black granite that is so sleek and shiny it looks like a mirror (as you can see from the back view where Aubrey's reflection is plainly visible). Unfortunately, it is hard to see the detail on the angel, but it is very nicely done. My only complaint is a misspelling in the inscription on the back: it should have the word "men" instead of the word "man." Oh well--can't change it now. I shouldn't have told you--only the die hard Shakespeare scholars in the audience would know otherwise.

The inscription on the back are the last two lines of Shakespeare's Sonnet XVIII. Jeff read this poem out loud to me during an elaborate picnic at Holmes Lake in Lincoln, Nebraska on July 2, 1993 and then asked me to marry him. However, I included it as his epitaph not so much for its sentimental value as a love poem, but because it is descriptive of how a writer immortalizes himself through his writings. Jeff always aspired to achieve greatness as a writer--and even if he only did it through this blog, then I think his efforts are worth remembering.

I plan to get a hanging basket for his Shepherd's hook--and a new chime (he's on his third one now--they don't last long for some reason . . .). I can even plant flowers around it, so maybe I'll use the same ones we use to fill all the flower boxes on our windows at home.

I can't believe I'm 36 years old and writing about this. It makes me sad. I feel like crying.



Jackie said...

The last 3 sentences of the post are words that have (unfortunately) come out of my mouth many times.
"How can this happen if I am only 33?"
"How can this happen if Tyler is only 3?"
"How is this fair? Does fair exist?"
Will it ever make sense?

Jackie said...

I can't stop reading this post and looking at the pictures. I forgot to mention that the headstone is beautiful! You did a great job.
What an inspiration and an amazing tribute. I love that quote, always have. No one will notice!

Kara Smith said...

Since blogs are just your thoughts, here are mine...
You amaze me in your strength and will!
You inspire me to be a stronger person!
You bring new meaning to "walk a mile in my shoes"!
I am not sure I could do what you have done with my head held so high! I imagine having the kids around gives you a big reality check constantly. Thank you for always blessing us with your insight! Keep posting!

mka said...

The headstone looks really nice. I remember when you were trying to pick one out and I'm glad you didn't pick out the crying angel. Remember it? Aubrey didn't like it either. If you feel like crying, just think how you'd feel if everytime you came to visit Jeff's grave you saw a crying angel. I like the angel you picked out better, and the stone is very nice. You can also tell the kids that they might be buried next to their husband or wife, because that's probably what will happen. Love, Mom

Terri said...

I really like the headstone too, I also agree with mom. I like this choice a lot better. Anyway, we'll see you all soon.
Love, Terri

PJ said...

I cry with you.