My little hometown newspaper, the Keith County News, has an annual tradition of printing unedited letters to Santa from the town's elementary school children. My brother, John, wrote one of the most original, hilarious, and self-aware letters ever printed. It even ran with its own special headline--if my Mom still has the text (I know she cut it out of the paper and saved it for years), she should post it in a "Comment" to this blog for all to see. If nothing else, at least I will be entertained by sugar-plum memories of Chewbacca dolls and how my brothers converted my very stylish wooden-heeled clogs (hey, it was 1980) into weapons.
So, in honor of my hometown tradition, and in lieu of a mass-mailed Christmas card, I will print here for your reading enjoyment, my children's own unedited Letters to Santa (*all spelling, capitalization, and punctuation is preserved exactly as written in the original) :
From Jack:
"Jack's Christmas"
NiNteNDo D.S.
sKate BoaRD.
Bike.
GuitaR.
I poD.
a LeGo Set.
(The list is illustrated with a big star).
From Regan:
Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year I want a wii, xbox 36, N-tendo DS, cellphone, I-pod, puppy (docsin), money, and last but not least Honey-crisp appels. and I have been a very nice girl this year.
Love, Regan <3 =)
From Aubrey:
Dear Santa,
Please define "nice." Personally, I think I've been plenty nice, but people say you're very opinionated.
Anyway, if you do think I've made the "nice-list" here are the things I'd like:
1) a new cell phone plan that includes unlimited texting
2) more of my favorite DKNY perfume, Red Delicious
3) lots of pairs of new colored skinny jeans (i can never get enough)
4) gift cards (iTunes, target, Delia's, Barnes & Noble, where-ever!)
5) figure skates
I would also really appreciate it if you could send me a couple of your elves to be my personal servants.
Thanks!
-Aubrey Kate
P.S. I know your secret!! I think we both know that if I don't make the "nice list", I won't be the only one who knows it any more
(Editor's Note: Ahhh. She's learning her mother's flair for bitter humor. It's the gift that keeps on giving . . .)
Of course, poor Finn is too little to write his own list, but he was trying to earn some extra Brownie Points today by wearing a red sequin Santa hat around the house. He has also assigned himself the job of making sure the Christmas lights are always on--he becomes quite annoyed if they are not. And, he keeps trying to clean-up the fake "hay" in our Nativity Scene. (This kid is afflicted, I tell you . . .).
So, Merry Christmas to all. I'll post again after Santa comes. Until then take care (and Happy Birthday, Tony!).
Love,
Kelly and Kids
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4 comments:
Just last night the paper came out with all the letters to Santa again. I still think John's was the best. Here it is, it was titled "Honest but Bad" he was 5 years old.
Dear Santa,
I've been real real naughty. I punched my brother and hit him with my sisters clog. And I didn't mind my mom when she told me to, and I got spanked and I bet you'll say "Good". I'll be good from now on so I hope you'll bring me a present and I didn't lie and say I was good.
I want a stuffed reindeer and a crusher and a stretch X-ray. I want a Luke Skywalker and an X-wing model and I want fake eyeballs and slime thats on them. I want a stuffed Chewbacca cause Jim won't let me play with his. And I want a stuffed Santa Claus. I want a cloud city ship and 2 taun tauns. I want you to get my little sister Terri a doll. I also want a stuffed Smurf with a horn, and one with a drum, and one with a baton that leads the band. My last thing is an army helicopter with army men, that we have to put together.
I love Santa Claus. John Archuletta Age 5
I also kept the Santa letters from 1979. Kelly had just turned 7, Terri was 3 months, and Jim and John were 4.
Here is what they wanted that year.
Unedited version of Kelly's, she wrote her own, the boys narrated and I wrote exactly what they said:
Dear Santa
I want a Barbie perfume maker and a Miss piggy puppet. And I want a Betty crocker juicer blender. Plus a Raggedy Ann alarm clock. And I want a Darci Barbi, and a Kelly and Elly. A Disco Fever Kit.
For my little sister, Baby Toys.
how is your reindeer? please come early before my Dad eats all the cookies and drinks all the milk.
From Kelly and Terri Archuletta
Dear Santa Claus,
I want a battle star galactica toy stuffed dog, a silver truck, and a marching micke. I've been naughty and nice. And I don't want my toys wrapped up because I want to play with them. Love, John Archuletta age 4
Dear Santa Claus,
I want a battle star galactica stuffed dog and a stuffed hulk toy and a stuffed chewbacca. I want a Monster muppet too. I've been nice and sort of naughty. Please don't give me a rock in my sock. I don't want my toys wrapped up either. Love, Jim Archuletta age 4
After you read what they wanted when they were 4, and what John wanted when he was 5, looks like Jim got the stuffed Chewbacca. Oh, Patchie liked Chewbacca too.
Love, Mom
Myrna,
Your post just made my entire holiday season! Bryan and I are still laughing! (we especially loved the last line in John's letter, "I love Santa Claus".) Thanks for sharing!!
MM
Merry Christmas, Kelly. At least your kids are giving Santa some choices. By the time Ian turned 6, the only thing on his list was "puppy." Sigh.
I hope Santa finds some kittens for the kids. : )
Gretchen V.
Christmas in Heaven
Tis Christmas in Heaven what a beautiful sight! It's my first one here; everything is all right.
The crib is adorned with the brilliance of stars, Wisemen have come from Venus and Mars.
I've met all our dear ones who preceded us here; the reunion was lovely, an event full of cheer.
And tonight we'll all gather, in reverence we'll kneel, for the Babe in the cradle up in Heaven is real.
I think of my family that I left behind; and I pray that your Christmas is as blessed as mine.
Please shed no more tears, for my soul is at rest, just love one another; live life to its best.
Yes, it's Christmas in Heaven, so I've heard them say, yet, Christmas in Heaven happens every day.
(Kelly Christmas blessings to you and your family. This seemed very appropriate at this time - it was printed out for my brother's memorial service 2 weeks ago.)
Bev S. (WHD)
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