From where, o where, has my anemia come?

I just reread this post and realize how unintelligible it was. This is a modified and more literate version . . .

Hi. I had a visit with Dr. Richards in Chicago today. I had hoped he would be able to provide some answers about why I had anemia, whether it was a good sign or a bad sign, and how I could alleviate the pain and fatigue as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, he could not. The doctor said anemia is not typically associated with ipilimumab and so he doubted that the treatment was the source of the trouble. He was concerned about my pain and fatigue, though, so he moved up my schedule for CTs from end of September to end of August. And he told me to schedule a follow up with the palliative care team to determine if I need another blood transfusion. He also doubled my dosage for oxycodone, which should help me stay ahead of the pain.

So why am I feeling so crummy? I really don't know. I'm not passing blood. I'm eating a regular diet and maintaining my weight. I probably won't get any real answers until my CT scans come through in a few weeks. Hopefully the answers will be positive. I am trying my best to focus on the fact that my symptoms could be signs that the treatments are working. Let me tell you, though, it's awfully difficult to stay cheery when you feel like you've been beaten to a pulp and your wife has to feed you because you can barely hold a spoon. And it's difficult to stay cheery when you look at yourself in the mirror and, instead of seeing the trim physique of an active man, you see the edges of bones and atrophied muscle and lumps under the skin that shouldn't be there.

Please pray for me in the coming weeks. I know many of you are, but I could really use an extra dose of strength right about now. Even more importantly, please pray for Kelly and the kids. This cancer cross is as much theirs to bear as it is mine. They are really amazing in their willingness to help me in whatever way possible, but I know it takes a toll on them even if they don't let on that it does.

Jeff

PS. A big thanks to Barb, a wonderful woman and mother of one of Aubrey's best friends, for serving as my chauffeur today. She was very patient with my pain and fatigue, and she provided pleasant conversation even when all I could do in response is nod or mumble. Thank God for good friends.